Life can change too quickly....

In light of recent events & developments around here, this is a public service announcement to hug your loved ones (and your pets) every single day....and get your photos done ASAP...life changes way too quickly...

Saying goodbye to some wonderful men this week...and a dog named Lukey...

happy birthday Fayenetta!!!

A happy 21st birthday to my BFF and partner in crime!!!! 

To Parents of Small Children...

My next door neighbor shared this blog post with me that she came across the other day...I just wanted to share it with any parents out there that may feel like this...just like me.  The writer's words moved me to tears.  Sometimes it's just nice to hear that as long as you are doing your best as a parent, that is all you can ask for...especially as we begin our summer break today.  It is going to be a loooong summer.

To Parents of Small Children: Let me be the one to say it out loud - By Steve Weins

I am in a season of my life right now where I feel bone tired almost all of the time. Ragged, how-am-I-going-to-make-it-to-the-end-of-the-day, eyes burning exhausted.

I have three boys ages 5 and under. I’m not complaining about that. Well, maybe I am a little bit. But I know that there are people who would give anything for a house full of laughter & chaos. I was that person for years and years; the pain of infertility is stabbing and throbbing and constant. I remember allowing hope to rise and then seeing it crash all around me, month after month, for seven years. I am working on another post about infertility that will come at a later date.

But right now, in my actual life, I have three boys ages five and under. There are many moments where they are utterly delightful, like last week when Isaac told my sister-in-law that “My daddy has hair all over.” Or when Elijah put a green washcloth over his chin and cheeks, and proudly declared,“Daddy! I have a beard just like you!” Or when Ben sneaks downstairs in the morning before the other boys do, smiles at me, and says, “Daddy and Ben time.”

But there are also many moments when I have no idea how I’m going to make it until their bedtime. The constant demands, the needs, and the fighting are fingernails across the chalkboard every single day.  

One of my children is for sure going to be the next Steve Jobs. I now have immense empathy for his parents. He has a precise vision of what he wants — exactly that way and no other way. Sometimes it’s the way his plate needs to be centered exactly to his chair, or how his socks go on, or exactly how the picture of the pink dolphin needs to look – with brave eyes, not sad eyes, daddy! He is a laser beam, and he is not satisfied until it’s exactly right.

I have to confess that sometimes the sound of his screaming drives me to hide in the pantry. And I will neither confirm nor deny that while in there, I compulsively eat chips and/or dark chocolate. 

There are people who say this to me:

“You should enjoy every moment now! They grow up so fast!”

I usually smile and give some sort of guffaw, but inside, I secretly want to hold those people under water. Just for a minute or so. Just until they panic a little.

If you have friends with small children — especially if your children are now teenagers or if they’re grown – please vow to me right now that you will never say this to them. Not because it’s not true, but because it really, really doesn’t help.

We know it’s true that they grow up too fast. But feeling like I have to enjoy every moment doesn’t feel like a gift, it feels like one more thing that is impossible to do, and right now, that list is way too long. Not every moment is enjoyable as a parent; it wasn’t for you, and it isn’t for me. You just have obviously forgotten. I can forgive you for that. But if you tell me to enjoy every moment one more time, I will need to break up with you.

If you are a parent of small children, you know that there are moments of spectacular delight, and you can’t believe you get to be around these little people. But let me be the one who says the following things out loud:

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out a way for your children to eat as healthy as your friend’s children do. She’s obviously using a bizarre and probably illegal form of hypnotism.

You are not a terrible parent if you yell at your kids sometimes. You have little dictators living in your house. If someone else talked to you like that, they’d be put in prison.

You are not a terrible parent if you can’t figure out how to calmly give them appropriate consequences in real time for every single act of terrorism that they so creatively devise.

You are not a terrible parent if you’d rather be at work.

You are not a terrible parent if you just can’t wait for them to go to bed.

You are not a terrible parent if the sound of their voices sometimes makes you want to drink and never stop.

You’re not a terrible parent.

You’re an actual parent with limits. You cannot do it all. We all need to admit that one of the casualties specific to our information saturated culture is that we have sky-scraper standards for parenting, where we feel like we’re failing horribly if we feed our children chicken nuggets and we let them watch TV in the morning.

One of the reasons we are so exhausted is that we are oversaturated with information about the kind of parents we should be.

So maybe it’s time to stop reading the blogs that tell you how to raise the next President who knows how to read when she’s three and who cooks, not only eats, her vegetables. Maybe it’s time to embrace being the kind of parent who says sorry when you yell. Who models what it’s like to take time for yourself. Who asks God to help you to be a better version of the person that you actually are, not for more strength to be an ideal parent.

So the next time you see your friends with small children with that foggy and desperate look in their eyes, order them a pizza and send it to their house that night. Volunteer to take their kids for a few hours so they can be alone in their own house and have sex when they’re not so tired, for heaven’s sake. Put your hand on their shoulder, look them in the eyes, and tell them that they’re doing a good job. Just don’t freak out if they start weeping uncontrollably. Most of the time, we feel like we’re botching the whole deal and our kids will turn into horrible criminals who hate us and will never want to be around us when they’re older.

You’re bone tired. I’m not sure when it’s going to get better. Today might be a good day or it might be the day that you lost it in a way that surprised even yourself.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

You’re not alone. 

P.S. If you liked this post, you have to read my wife’s earlier post, about her own journey with body image after having twins. You can read it here.

P.P.S The post I wrote about infertility is here.

P.P.S. To read my other posts on parenting, click here.

And lastly, if you liked this post, you will love Carry On, Warrior by Glennon Doyle Melton. 

Carry On, Warrior includes Glennon Doyle Melton’s hilarious and poignant essays about her life as a mom who is committed to living her life as it actually is. I cannot adequately express how much I love this book. I wish I could send it to every mom and dad on planet earth.

One of my favorite quotes: ”This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life when I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways, to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of profound gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.”

Buy Carry On Warrior on amazon here.

I hope someone out there can give me an Amen?  I will just share a quick snapshot of my kiddos with their halos glowing:

Have a great Monday!

Lucky Number 7

Dear Brynn, Brynnie, B, Beebs, Babes,

What a beautiful young lady you are growing up to be.  Your dad and I are so proud of all the things you learned to do this year...ride a two-wheeler...read like a big kid...change poopy diapers...

You never cease to amaze us with your amazing common sense and your problem solving skills.  You are such a good little mommy helper and your brothers' eyes light up when you walk in the room.

Happy 7th Birthday my big girl.  I love you.

Love, Mom

Our Happy Little Guys

Riles & Breck are 18 months old today and on the move.  They often run in opposite directions, which is a reflection of their personalities, but one thing they do have in common is they are happy guys.  Luckily for us, that makes life a little easier around here.

Riles has been walking for a few months and will quietly wander off and explore and does not answer when you call his name...he makes you come find him and he is usually holding something and trying to figure out how it works or how he can put it back together.  His new thing is open-mouthed, slobbery kisses and hitting his brothers with his huge, strong, man-sized hands.  He is not as vocal as Breck, but he lets you know when he likes what he sees or if he is not a fan.

Breck just started walking in the past two weeks but that never stopped him from getting where he wanted to go.  Although mostly he wants to stay perched on my hip and steer me all over the place to take him where he wants to go.  He has a good set of lungs on him and will damage your eardrum with the most annoying sound in the world or will repeat everything you say like a little parrot.  He may still be a little smaller than Riles, but he definitely holds his own in this house.

Can you give me a push?

Kyler, get off of here!

MOM!!!

My little James Dean.

"One Day" Sessions

Someone said something to me a while back that really resonated with me and I still think about it every. single. day.  They merely commented on how when you have small children, the days go by so slooooow,  but the years go by way too fast.  Hey all you moms out there: Have you ever heard a truer statement?

I am constantly reminding myself of this when I have one kid on my hip, another climbing my leg, one  yelling from the other room for more juice, and the last one asking me to do her hair...meanwhile I am trying to clean up spilled dish soap on the floor while attempting to make dinner and practice math problems.  Does this sound familiar?

Many of us busy moms are wishing these days would go by faster...the laundry, the dishes, the messes, the constant Ground Hog Day over and over.  But here is what I fear...that I am going to blink and all my kids will be grown and in college or married and living on their own.  Ok, in all honesty, doesn't that sound amazing some days?  A quiet, clean house to myself??  Bring it on.  But I have to remind myself, that will all come in good time.

For now, I continue to enjoy the small moments with our circus family.

Anyway...you may be wondering where I am going with this.  I know I can get preachy when it comes to enjoying the "everyday" with your loved ones.  But it is so important.

I met a photographer a few years ago; an old, seasoned artist from England with many strong opinions but a kind heart.  He spoke of something he did with clients several years ago which he called "A Day in the Life"(most likely a play on the words from The Beatles song).  He would spend a day with a client documenting their daily life...no matter how mundane or how exciting.

So moms (and dads), I know there are days we are just passing from one event to the next and trying to "get through" the witching hours and slow days, but how cool would it be to look back at an album in ten or twenty years and have that one day documented that shows what your daily routine was when you had all those little ones depending on you.  Or how great would it be to show your kids what your daily life was like when they were too little to remember?  I wish I could look back on my childhood and see what my toothbrush looked like or what I had in my top drawer of my dresser.

I am offering a new session opportunity to a small number of clients who would like me to come spend the day with them and create a beautiful album of this "One Day."

Although it was hard for me, I attempted to capture "One Day" of our daily life in our house.  Ideally, I would have had someone else capturing these moments so it would be more accurate, but you will get the idea.

Even if you don't have someone take these images for you...try it yourself and do it on your iphone if you have to.  Then put the photos away somewhere you can look at it down the road.  You may not want to see it tomorrow or next week; but when your kids are grown, that is when it will be golden.

Or give your kids your camera...they can help ;)  View their life through their eyes.

Here is a peek at what my daily routine consists of (photos taken back on a cold day back in February):

Good morning!  Ky took this photo of Brynn and myself in my bed after he flipped on the light.  I didn't ask him to take it, but this kind of triggered the idea for shooting that day.  This is our lives.  Unscripted and unedited.

Brynn is constantly trying to weasel her way into our bed in the middle of the night.  Looks like she succeeded this particular night.

Checking morning emails.

Morning snuggles.

Breakfast and some Temple Run.

Breck, our little "Houdini" can get out of any kind of straps or belts no matter how tight they are, so he has been demoted to the floor after continually escaping from his high chair and climbing onto the counter.

One off to school, and then this is what the majority of my day includes:

...keeping these monkeys safe.

Playtime in the basement.

Ugh, only 9:15am??

They love going in their big sissy's room when she is not home.

We do lots of baths and outfits changes in our house.  Someone is always spilling something or getting dirty.

My favorite time of day:  Nap time.  Coming right up.

This is the time of day I run around the house like a madwoman trying to pull it together.  Ky is so good about chilling in his chair and watching Batman so I can get something done.  He always wants me to snuggle him or push him in the swings in our basement, but he waits patiently until it is time for that.

Ugh.

We are not an "organic" diet family.  Don't judge ;)  And I am the cereal lover.

This particular day was a good day as far as laundry goes.  Normally it is four baskets overflowing with about eight loads of clean clothes.  At least they are clean, right?

Ha, just noticed the nearly naked Justin Beiber doll in his skivvies.

Brynnie forgot her glasses.

Maybe I will try to squeeze in some work if I am particularly ambitious.  Normally I don't work on the days the kids are home.  It is too stressful trying to do it all and doing none of it well.

Babies are up.  Ky is always stealing their "ba-bas".

More playtime.

Hey Ry, check out this Instagram.

Exploring big brother's room.

Beebs is home!

More bath time.  Notice I still haven't showered ;)

Dad is home!

Co-worker.

Driving the "bus" to run errands.

How we roll.

Yep, bath #3.

Chad is a great cook and a huge help around the house when he is in town.

This is my favorite recipe, my mom's meatloaf.  It is one the few things I can make well.

Somehow I missed lunch this day...we did eat it though.  But it's already dinner time!

And almost time for bedtime stories...

...after my first batch of Rice Krispy treats I ever made.  (I know, lame that I am 35 and had never made them before.)  They were delish.  I am an eater, not a chef/baker ;)

Fellas, get over here and get your jammies on!

My favorite part of the day...

...and the hubs knows how I like to call it a day.  He makes a great chocolate shake.

A little disclaimer:  You did not see a few things that are part of our daily life; B & Ky's constant bickering, B arguing with me about what to wear and saying she doesn't want to go to school, poopy diapers x2, the m-effers I mutter under my breath, the food I clean up off the floor three times a day which almost makes me want another dog, lots more snuggles, all the chairs in the kitchen placed on their sides so the boys can climb them, the trips to Target, etc.

What does your daily routine look like?